My Unicorn

I call my car my unicorn because to me, that's what it is. It's far more magical than some "valiant steed". It is the vehicle in which I gallop through the fiery depths of this Hell of a place called Earth, 320 horses simultaneously screaming "You can't fuck with me!". A reflection of desire, strength, passion, and elegance displayed by confident rage, magnificent fury in the form of machine. My 2006 Dodge Charger R/T is my Unicorn.

Let me give you a brief history of my love for cars; I always loved cars. When I was 7 years old, my parents were divorced, and being with my mom, who was very depressed, let's just say I spent too much time on my own for being a 7-year-old, like way too much time. I lived in Washougal Washington, and I rode this mountain bike around town. I was way too small for the bike. I would have to put it on the street while I stood on the sidewalk so that I could use the curb as a step to get myself onto the bike. I remember the way I had to kick myself away from the curb and the bicycle would be wobbly until I got enough momentum for it to begin rolling smoothly.

When I was 7, I was really small. I was riding this bike by myself, and I saw a third generation Chevrolet Camaro sitting in a driveway as I was passing by. It was red like the other 90% of third generation Camaros. There was nothing particularly special about this car. It wasn't even nice. It didn't look like it was well taken care of at all, but that didn't stop me from loving it. I couldn't take my eyes off of it, which was kind of a misfortunate because crashed into a mail box.

My chest hit the mailbox, and as I swiftly fell to the ground, the bicycle continued to coast on its own. The plummet from a tall descent onto the concrete sidewalk had knocked the wind out of me and left me with a scar I still have to this day, a scar that reminds me of how much I love cars. I admire cars in the same way I admire art. To me, cars are art.

As a 7 year old kid, lying on the ground alone, trying to find my breath, I realized that I really love cars. I wasn't told to look at the car. I didn't grow up with my elders having some eccentric passion for cars that trickled down to me loving cars. It was all me from a young age, simply loving cars.

As soon as I could, I got my learner's permit, and between the ages of 17-26, I have owned 11 cars from all different classifications. I worked at an auto auction where I learned so much about cars, how different cars operate and function, and what options come with different cars, what the different badges mean, I learned so much. I loved that job. It was a good job with good people who mostly all shared the same passion for cars as me, and I got to drive some exquisite cars where I would have never otherwise had that kind of opportunity.

When I was going through the most difficult time of my life, I was driving a 2002 Mazda Protege5. It was bright sunburst yellow with rattle-canned black wheels, black tinted windows and taillights. It had an HKS Catback exhaust, a big chrome cannon with a MaganaFlow Hi-Flo catalytic converter, and a resonator delete replaced by a glass pack sending out a deep rich burly sound, and when I let off the throttle, it let out a pleasantly warm crackling reverberation. Tones that filled my heart with satisfaction. I installed aftermarket LED lighting with racing style toggle switches in the interior, a 12 inch subwoofer and a touchscreen Panasonic radio deck. Also, I put 2 inch offset spacers in the rear wheels and flared the fenders out to give the back a widebody look. I love cars with a big booty and this was such a cute car!

Side note: I got the idea of doing offset spacing on just the back wheels from driving a dually pickup truck. I remember taking this truck onto an on-ramp to get on the highway, and it was one of those ramps that swings around to do a 180 degree turn, so it's tight cornering and I'm in a big dually. I thought for sure, this truck is not going to like this ramp. I was so wrong. The truck loved the corner which then made me love the truck! The wideness of the rear of the truck gave it greater stability allowing me to rip through that corner! You'll be far more stable by being wide and low rather than tall and narrow.

When my daughter passed away and I had my Mazda, I was struggling. The car was a time capsule of history of my life that was absolutely horrific to say the least, and I was driving it everyday. It got to a point where I had even removed the back seats because I couldn't stand to look at them knowing that I will never be strapping her car seat in ever again, plus ya know, weight reduction. So, I had still owed about three grand on the car and it was hitting somewhere around 220,000 miles plus on the odometer. She wasn't keeping oil despite my timely maintenance schedule, and was quickly becoming a turd that I was owing way too much for. I needed something new. I really needed a change, a positive change.

I have always been a hatchback girl. I think sedans are wasteful in terms of usable space, and coupes even more so. The coupe is turning into a dying breed. I like hatchbacks, pickups, SUV's and vans. I think those are practical vehicles, but there was one sedan that I was willing to make an exception for, and that's the Dodge Charger. I loved the classic Charger as a kid. It was and still is my favorite car, the 1969 Dodge Charger. In fact, that is the car I am most successful with on Forza Horizon 4. There is an undeniable universal attraction between me and that car.

The thing that mostly disappoints me about 69' Charger, is it's popularity surrounding the General Lee. It honestly kills me that my absolute favorite car is shrouded around racism. I am so sorry to my black brothers and sisters. You do not deserve to have that flag waved in your face.

Why can't we make another hit tv show starring a 69' Charger that isn't racist? Bury the General Lee!

I remember when I was a kid I saw the modern Charger's debut in 2006. I didn't witness the unveiling at the Mopar show or anything. I just remember the car making it's appearance shortly after Ford released the modern-retro version of the Mustang in 2005, which that Mustang had a lot of people excited, including myself. I believe the 05' Mustang will be a collector's car years down the road.

The charger was different though. I think it surprised a lot people. It had some resemblance of it's late 60's predecessor, but it had four doors instead of two, the taillights were separated instead of the iconic one light stretching the rear of the car. It looked very different. I have to say, I was excited when I saw the 2011 model bring back the one piece taillight, and once they did that, I really began to fall for the Charger.

So, knowing that my Mazda was on a fast track to being a parts car, I started exploring my options for trading it for something new, and there was only one car I wanted, a Dodge Charger. I wanted a car that was mean and aggressive. I wanted a car that had authority, that was big and powerful, a car that says I can do this life. I wanted something to make me feel good, or at least feel better..

I test drove a 2012 Charger. It was a very cool metallic ash grey color. Aesthetically, I loved the car, but on the test drive, I discovered the V6 models are so incredibly gutless, and it was a bare bones car with cloth seats and no extras, so basic. I understand smaller engines save fuel, but to certain muscle car people, there's a special place for the V6 engine, and that's the wrecking yard. I learned that at a young age. If I'm driving a Charger, and I put my foot down hard and fast on the throttle, I want to feel some G's please.

Another reason I was compelled to get a Dodge Charger is because my best friend got himself a Pontiac G8. I think it's a 2008. If you don't know much about the G8, well, it's basically a modern 4 door Pontiac GTO in my opinion. It is a muscle sedan just like the Charger. Friends like to compete, or at least be in the same class to compete. My friend's G8 had me motivated to get a Charger, and I keep telling him, one day we have to rent a track so we can race each other because we're competitive like that.

When I saw my Charger for the first time, I was driving by and it caught my eye as it sat in the front row of a used car dealership. As I was passing, I found myself staring at it the same way I was staring at that Camaro when I was seven years old, except this time I made sure to continue watching the road in front of me.

I pulled into that car lot, and the dealer knew exactly what I was there for. He said, "You're here for that aren't ya?" as he pointed.

What he was pointing to was an inferno crimson metallic red Dodge Charger sitting on 22 inch rims painted red and black to match the car. It had no badges. The grille in the front matched that of the 69' with the nose being a center point. The fenders had open racing style slots revealing a gold mesh. Around the back, two big black exhaust tips peaked out from under the rear bumper giving off a deep patriotic rumbling resonance by the exhale of the 5.7 liter V8 Hemi. Inside, a tan leather interior with a black dashboard. Red and black carbon fiber trim was added to places of the interior, around the door handles, window switches and climate control knobs.

When I drove it, I was in heaven. I love exhausts. I love rich powerful exhaust notes. This car was shiny, loud, and fast. An absolute beast, an eye-catcher, an attention-grabber, a homage to a classic icon. Muscle on the outside, Luxury on the inside.

Now, I wish I could say that this blog post has a happy ending. I wish I could say that this car has elevated my life to a higher place than I ever was before. I wish I could say this car has been the positive attribute to my life that I have needed for so long. I wish I could call this car my unicorn, but I can't. Not now.

Everything went downhill from the moment I bought it. When you get nice things in life, especially when you have gone to difficult places to get what you have or to be where you are, you would expect support and that people would be happy for you. This was not the case. I was met with jealousy, envy, and negativity from people that I love. I couldn't believe it. I was shamed for it, like I can't have anything nice without feeling bad about it. I felt so hurt and confused, and really began questioning my relationships with people in my life.

It doesn't end there. Exactly seven days after I bought the car, I'm sitting in line at a coffee drive thru. I'll never forget this. The car turned off. On the gauge cluster, a little lightning bolt symbol showed up. I thought it was weird, put the car in park, restarted the ignition, the car fired up, everything was back to normal. A few days later it happens again. This time, while I'm driving. The car turns off entirely, then kicks back on with a rump, like the transmission was in no way prepared for that power loss, so when power is turned back on, the car kicked hard. It was a very confusing and uncomfortable situation.

I took the car back to the dealer. They give me the whole take it to a mechanic, it might have a warranty talk, so I do, and of course there's no warranty. There's no way any dealership would offer a warranty for such a heavily modified vehicle anyway. No way. The mechanic tells me that their systems indicate that there is a bad connection on the terminal for the transmission. Easy fix, except one hiccup, they have to drop the transmission to access the terminal. It didn't fix anything, and I still had to pay them for the labor, so that sucked.

My only hope for a solution was to start hitting the forums and message boards and see if other 2006 Dodge Charger R/T owners have had the same issue. I was shocked at what I found. It is still an unresolved issue to this day. The mechanic I spoke to, the one that dropped my transmission for no good reason, suggested I look into having the Dodge Dealership replace the computer as they are the only ones with the equipment necessary to program these computers. Considering the computer that is in my car is labeled 2015, it was obvious the computer had been replaced before.

Here is what the forums say, or at least what they all should say;

DO NOT BUY A 2006 DODGE CHARGER R/T!

DO NOT BUY A 2006 DODGE CHARGER R/T!!

DO NOT BUY A 2006 DODGE CHARGER R/T!!!

DO NOT BUY A 2006 DODGE CHARGER R/T!!!!

DO NOT BUY A 2006 DODGE CHARGER R/T!!!!!!

DO NOT BUY A 2006 DODGE CHARGER R/T!!!!!!!!

DO NOT BUY A 2006 DODGE CHARGER R/T!!!!!!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY!!! DO NOT BUY A 2006 DODGE CHARGER R/T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I took it to a Dodge dealership and it was the worst experience ever. The problem with the car is that the computer glitches for whatever reason and when it happens, it shuts the car off. It's unpredictable when it will happen. When the car is moving at a speed around or above 10 MPH, it turns off and kicks back on. If I am accelerating quickly and it glitches, the transmission can kick pretty violently, which cannot be good, and who knows what other components are being compromised by this happening. Now, if the car is going below 10 MPH, it shuts off and does not kick back on. That means, despite whatever traffic is around, I have to bring the car to a complete stop, put it in park, and restart it. This is potentially a very dangerous situation.

The Dodge Dealership wanted to recreate the problem, but they couldn't. They also said that there was no engine codes to indicate the problem. I thought this was strange because I can take it on a 3 mile drive and have it glitch on me 5 times, and in 3 days, they can't get it to happen once. I'm not too sure about that. I do not trust them. The other thing, if you can't get an engine code from the computer that generates the codes, you wouldn't think that it could be a defective computer?

They didn't want to help me out. It seemed to me like they wanted to play games and continue diagnosing, chasing problems that aren't there rather than doing what's right and simply replacing the computer. All this trouble in dealing with dealerships and mechanics was literally going on within a month of buying it. I bought the car for $10,000. After my loan from my Mazda was added to that, and all the fees, I was into this car $13,000. Then I spent an additional $1,000 trying to fix it with no luck.

I was in a very dark place in my life. I bought my Charger in December of 2017. Only two years, after my daughter passed, and I was nowhere near the end of that grieving process. I needed a pick-me-up. I needed to lift my spirits, and it was like fate that I came across this particular car, given my overall love for cars, and at the time, being on this quest to find the perfect Dodge Charger. When I bought the car it felt like it was so meant to be. I felt like I earned that car, like I deserved that car. It was the greatest morale boost followed by the worst experience. It was like being brought up to cloud nine then being plunged right back to the deepest depths of defeat.

I don't understand what I did for the universe to be so cruel as to present me with my dreams, gift me with incredible blessings, and then crush them right in front of me. Every bit of hope shattered. All that was before me was beautiful open meadows and bright shiny sunshine, and then the veil is torn down to reveal that none of it is real, and I'm still shrouded in the darkness I've stood in for so long now. Fuck!! Why?? Why me??!!

As much negativity this car has brought me, it has also brought me many positive things as well. Mostly, it gave me the confidence I really needed when I was in a hard time. It brought me out of my shell and allowed me to meet people I am very happy to have met.

I like the attention my car receives. I like the way I feel when people see me get out of it. I like wondering what they must think of me, being a successful transgender woman with a nice car. When people say to me "Nice car.", I tell them "Thank you." and I don't tell them that in reality it is not a nice car because of it's major computer issue. I let them believe that it is truly a nice car because if they are like me, seeing nice car makes them happy, so why spoil it?

In my most recent research on fixing the problem, I read that there is a computer tuner called the Predator Tuner and it is said that this tuner can stop the glitching or reduce it from happening. It sounds promising. Anything is worth a shot. I would so much rather fix the car than get rid of it. The idea of using a tuner to remap the computer which would avoid any of the sequences that may cause a glitch makes sense to me, and it's definitely worth a try. The Predator Tuner sells at about $400, so it's a lot of money to pay for something that might work, and it's certainly not in my budget. We'll see how it goes.

The other option I have been looking into is purchasing an aftermarket PCM from a computer company. I have heard that other people have had success by doing this. It is also not cheap to do, and it comes with the same risk of potentially not solving anything. For me, the problem isn't even with financial issue of being able to afford a tuner or an aftermarket PCM. It's the question of whether I can handle having hope and being optimistic and being let down yet again. My mental well-being is very important to me, and I do what it takes to stay happy. I just don't know how I would reciprocate failure in my attempts to resolve an issue that has such a dramatic impact on me.

I love my car so much. It hurts me to have it in this condition going on 3 years now. Hopefully soon, I will have a solution, and can find the mental strength to feel confident in trying to fix it again. I really want this car to work out for me. One day I want to call this car my Unicorn again.

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