My Deceased Daughter Came To Me In A Dream

Preface

I had this dream while in the earlier stages of gender transition. This was when I became aware of the fact that I am uncomfortable in my body, and I was consciously reviewing the concerns I had for the social impacts of my transition. One of the impacts being my relationship with my angel daughter. I wondered how she would feel about it.

Since my daughters passing, I have changed as a person on so many levels. One thing that I pay attention to is that Shiloh is a baby angel which immediately makes her higher up on the angelic pillar meaning to me, that while I am on Earth, if I want to have a relationship with Shiloh in the next life, I have some serious standards to uphold. My moral compass turned into me needing to be on my best behavior.

Dream

I was driving fast down a gravel road in my 97' Subaru Legacy Outback station wagon while the loose gravel beneath the car clanged and popped from underneath, a cloud of dust plumed behind me like a tracer displaying the trajectory of my trail.

The road cut narrowly through a thick Oregon-like forest with tall trees lining the side. Long pine tree branches hung over the road and created a strobe-light effect inside the car between the exchange of sunlight and the shadows that were casted by the limbs above.

As the sunlight flickered on the dashboard, my hands firmly gripped the steering wheel. Intensely, I focused as I sped dangerously around the tight bends, feeling the cars weight shift as it swung around the corners. Pebbles were rolling under the tires which required me to counter-steer through turns in order to keep myself on the road at such high speed.

I was going to do whatever it took to get there as quickly as I could.

I was angry. I was absolutely livid as I was driving. "They can not keep her from me." I thought. "Oh no no no.. They will NOT step between me and her. No ma'am, not today!"

I get around the last corner and enter an opening where the road transitions into a driveway to a cabin. Still driving at a high rate of speed, I unclip my seatbelt. I see the cabin and two tall women. One is standing at the porch, the other standing in the driveway.

At the last possible second, I slam on the brakes, sliding to a halt, push the shifter into park, and open my door. I step outside my car leaning over the door and I point to the woman standing nearest me and say, "You can't keep her from me!"

Very calmly, she looks at me, then she looks back at the other woman who is standing on the porch and with a somewhat confused look on her face she says to me, "uuuhm, we aren't.."

As soon as she said this, I felt a sense of relief, like I never even needed to be angry in the first place. I had no reason to be mad.

The two women had a powerfully pleasant energy. They were so tranquil and beautiful, highly angelic beings.

I began walking towards the cabin. The woman on the porch steps aside, and I see Shiloh standing there. She looked so beautiful. She stood only a few feet tall in a red dress. At this time she is about 4 years old.

I blinked, and when I blinked, my eyes shut and she went from the front porch about 25 feet to where I was standing by the time I had opened my eyes. She floated over to me with an elegant glide. It was astonishing. I couldn't believe my baby girl can fly like that.

Her energy, so strong, my knees felt weak, and I sink down to a crouched position where I am at eye level with her. We looked back and forth at each other for a moment and then she looks down. I also look down to see what she is looking at when I realize that I am wearing a dress.

I had no idea I was wearing a dress! I begin to panic with humility and embarrassment. I feel like I am about to cry.

It was a long, white, silky dress with red roses on it. In my crouched position the bottom of the dress rested on my lap. Shiloh held the end of the dress and slid her thumb back and forth across the smooth silk taking comfort in the softness. She was fascinated. I silently watched her as she felt the dress.

Eventually, she looks at me with a with a sweet smile on her face, her eyes so blue underneath the sunlight. She puts her open palm to her chest and pats herself and then points back at the cabin. She does not speak well. She says words but does not make sentences.

She is telling me that she has a dress just like the one I have.

"Oh, you do?" I say to her

"Yeah! In my room." she says still facing the cabin with her finger pointed outwards

I smile, no longer feeling ashamed to wear the dress. Looking at my goofy little kid, so sweet and loving as she looks back at me with the happiest and kindest smile on her face, I thank her as I fall to tears.

End Dream